Stoned at DSW. SO MANY SHOES! THEY'RE FREAKING ME OUT.
Jesus wouldn't steal pop tarts. So why did you?
i think im having one of those erections lasting four or more hours
So I'm eating my sandwich... and a penny fell out of it.
she actually told me to ignore the cokeheads in the corner with knives.
I don't care if the man pisses on teenage girls, he's enchanting.
new years resolution, not be in jail at midnight for 3rd year in a row.
I apologize for getting really drunk, taking off my shirt, bitching someone out, crying, and breaking something at your party next weekend...
Thats not what we're looking for. I want this kid to suck a lolly pop out of a stripper's snatch.
Please hurry up and come back. This is so awkward. He's showing me banana videos.
GETTING HORNY AT RANDOM IS REALLY FUCKING INCONSIDERATE.
I asked him to change the channel. There was no way I could do reverse cowgirl with golf on.
How did you interpret 'wheat thins' from 'vaginal trauma'?
sorry for any reference made toward your boobs or making you feel pregnant or incapable of peeing. make it a wonderful day.
Come cuddle! I'll be passed out somewhere in the library. It'll be like a scavenger hunt!
Randomize
