About to fuck some random fraternity guy I met at a party. I guess this would be the right time to say I don't want to be with you anymore.
ugh i can't even wear this perfume anymore. it just brings back blurry memories of blowjobs and regret.
I've already started drinking so the earlier you get out of class the more coherent I'll probably be.
Dude. Zebras have bad attitudes.
Well I think it's fate. Considering march is my fave month because it's my birthday and st. Patrick's day. And his name is Patrick. I'm sleeping with him all through march. No question.
I will give you 100$, a blow job a day for a month and I will shave my legs according to societal standards until next November if you come recuse me from my night class right NOW.
also i think i should join the bone marrow registration when im sober
I just power puked in the office bathroom.. blew blood vessels in my eyes and now I'm ready for a donut.... success
its just been over 12 hours, and i`m dying, don`t know how i`m supposed to survive the holidays sexless
I need a kidney, not a pussy. All the pussy in the world isn't going to save my life. Keep your pussy in your pants and give me a kidney.
Use "feeling words"
Yay
I woke up in Brittany's thong, Tony's shirt, and an oven mitt
I'm going to have to have a long talk with god if my soul mate has a prince albert
I just wanna get drunk in a castle. Is that so much to ask?
dude the water is back on, you can stop shitting under the tree . . .
Randomize