omg i finished an entire carton of double double chunk chunk ice cream last night...
what? what exactly is in double double chunk chunk?
self-loathing.
Guess what I'm doing tomorrow?
Becoming a productive member of society?
Sam. Come on.
dude she was givin me head and stops and looks up at me and tells me she loves me, then goes ''alright now cum in my mouth''.... pretty sure shes the one
That girl gave me her number because you were arrested. I am so proud of you dude.
I can't think of anything besides pubic hair fallout. Ugh.
Sorry for feeding you peanuts last night while you were sleeping, you looked hungry.
It's only 8pm and Karl already got a stripper fired.
He blew a .19 and then slurred "well I did have some rum cake earlier today officer".
The only thing I know is that these arent my shoes and Aaron is missing and he has my house keys.
IT IS EARTH DAY, RECORD STORE DAY, 4/20 EVE, AND SATURDAY ALL AT THE SAME TIME!
Everyone's going out for thirsty Thursday and I'm just like. Cool. Enjoy yourself. I'm gonna eat an entire pizza and watch King of Queens reruns.
We're ordering chinese food so if you want to get on this obesity train answer me now.
I found myself looking up beard accounts while masturbating, I guess that's what it's come to.
He said that he had extra crunchy taquitos and wanted to go down on me.. I mean how could I say no?
i love how you, my friend, sends me a picture of herself wearing a shirt that says "i am dead inside" and i'm just like "awww baby you're so cute"
that's just solidarity
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