Theyre still fighting about whether its called america or the united states.
BEES IN MY FUCKING PANTS. HELP.
Is it wierd that you're going to be my best man and you've fucked my wife?
The foreigner finally woke up and the first thing he did was look up a map of the u.s. His destination is to pennsylvania.
He fucked volume into my hair. It was amazing.
you two started sword fighting with 3 ft tall spruce trees you pulled out of planters
Walked by a shop giving away free donuts this morning. Best walk of shame ever
Nope. Can't afford girlfriends. Still looking for the 25 year old bisexual tripled who owns a brewery or a casino.. the search continues....
He was at the bottom of the stairs showering himself with the popcorn, then eating a few handfuls and running around.
my favorite part of the night was when I was in the bathroom frantically trying to get my cat whiskers and nose off to make hooking up less awkward
Oh. And what's the twitter protocol for following the guy you blew behind a shed?
As if me making pizza in a skillet wasn't enough proof that I was in no state to be cooking, this burn blister on my hand is
Why are friend nudes not more of a thing? My tits look awesome right now.
Listen, if I miss the flight to Vegas because she's still rimming my ass, it will have been worth it.
All I remember is that I was trying to call my wolf pack by howling.
Randomize
