Got a little crazy huh? Happy st pattys day. None of you have any idea where my credit card would be do you? How do i always lose
what happened last night??
everyone saw ******'s vagina
and that's just the beginning
I just saw the dad from "Little People Big World" at the airport. I chased him down and congratulated him for beating the DUI.
a guy just walked up to us....drank the rest of my beer....and said sorry for my loss before walking away.
Two words that describe last night: naked and backflips.
Flaming shots last night. Missing an eye brow. There a connection?
You're too morally constrained. I firmly believe that you should be less concerned with how young she is and more excited by the fact that she's not jailbait by virtue of a legal technicality.
The girl in the stall next to me is puking her brains out, I'd say she had just a good a weekend as us
I gave her some alkaseltzer ad she looked at me lke I was god
They are doing the auction. One of the items in the auction is a grenade launcher.
I need to wake up with a beard between my thighs more often, I'm a fucking saint.
When he breaks your heart after he reveals he's gay, I'll be there for you. -Love, Dad
I just need you to appreciate that this is the first time I've ever been cut off and it's at an airport bar in Philly before 1 o'clock in the afternoon.
another side note: i'm officially selling my underwear on the internet
good news, i've got tacos. bad news, kevin's in the ER. more good news, the tacos were free.
My vagina measures dicks. It's accurate to the half inch.
Randomize
