You know, I didn't realize this at the time, but it appears that I am being "heavily petted" by 3 grown men in that pic.
If these were biblical times then you'd be a Roman Senator.
Well, I fucked her. But the sex wasn't all that great. Morning sex never is
im in class. still drunk. wearing one sock. eating a breakfast sandwich and trying to make sure this bottle of whiskey doesnt fall out of my purse in front of my professor
Just threw up in the garbage can outside the liquor store... I'm pretty sure that's some sort of distress signal.
somebody put my brain in a crown royal bag and beat the shit out of it
Bro I am trying to have one night stands nothing more, unless she is baking waffles I can eat out of her butthole I am not interested
I asked her why she named her vibrator Lorenzo and said it was the name she started screaming her first time.
They said you went back in for 30 minutes and were walking with your arms out like an eagle soaring
I think that maybe Alyssa may of had too much to drink. is it normal for her to straddle random people in quizno's?
Howd it go?
Well we had the "no we're not fucking on the porch" conversation but then we totally fucked on the porch. So I'd say alright.
Wait, like drink with real Phil. Or Phil, the cat that sometimes lived in your closet in Myrtle Beach?
I was stuffing my face while buying a brownie and coffee and some kid I fucked came up behind me and said. Someone's hungry.
We were dancing and then he pointed to the club floor and there was money that I dropped everywhere. That was the nicest thing someone has ever done for me.
Just a typical Friday. Dinner, drinks, doing lines with a member of Congress
Yeah well I fucked my ex on a sink last night soooo booty calls for us all
Randomize