At any point in time, have you stopped and thought "I wonder how high Willie Nelson is right now?
She said she didn't think she should have to shave either. Guess no shave November just became no sex November.
You were in my dream and you got the lyrics to lollipop tattooed on your chest. Don't get it, it wasnt that cool.
oh and if she happens to say anything about a cantalope and tissues... just go with it
why is my forehead so bruised?
i found you outside knocking on the door with your head because you couldn't lift your arms.
This is God's way of telling me He loves me and wants me to be a cocktease.
Go forth my daughter and give blue balls to all who may gaze upon your tits.
Baked and hanging out with Al from Home Improvement's son. You can't make this shit up. Tuh-rippin balls
Someone younger than me just got married. Send help and vodka
I'm only fucking women born in the 90s this summer
I mean you're asking high Chelsea. I'd sell myself for a rice crispy
Yeah come over whenever. Weed gets here at 8.
I'll be there at 7:59.
I jerked off 12 hours ago exactly. I owe it to my penis to get laid.
You ever stub your boner? It happened to me. Just know that drugs and strip poker and a hot tub. I'll Regale you with the story over drinks later.
That moment when you’re at the doctor to give a sperm sample you’re only getting 3G so the porn is buffering
Oh the sweet dreamless sleep of drugs
You? On what? Why?
Randomize
