i wish you could fill a pinata with booze
This girl brought half a watermelon to class. I want to be on her level.
Thats why you have fulfilling relationships with nice girls and i have kinky sex with crazies
On a scale of one to america, how free are you this weekend?
Is your answer to that text seriously a right parenthesis
He asked me out while I'm back in town. I have to acknowledge and honor his persistence.
Your vagina must be laced with cocaine...
donating our bodies to science does not justify what were doing to them.
I wasn't trying to be rude when I hurriedly walked past you, but I can not put in to words exactly how bad I had to shit.
We boned on a bench in a park, french people were walking by cheering us on. Totally acceptable
This tiny cat is tiny breathing with her tiny lungs and im having a tiny freak out. Like those lungs have to be super tiny.
We are planning a drunk snapchat treasure hunt for tomorrow, and the treasure is his penis, this is a game I'm not willing to loose.
Dont judge the spank bank, just be happy that you were deposited there.
I thought one was bad but really there are two woman stupid enough to marry our brother...unreal
I really just gave up on masterbating because I'm too tired. I really am getting old.
I think its a little fucked up she invited you to her wedding, are you going?
There is a lot of acid in my drugs right now
....ill put you down as a no then
Randomize
