I thought smoking would make her look better, but all it did was enlighten me to her snaggletooth
Sounds like a blessing in disguise
Sometimes he's such a bitch I forget that he's not actually a girl. Last night I asked him if I could borrow a tampon.
He had some in his pocket. That was weird.
I can't lisssten to Lou Holtzsss ssspeak anymore
She helped me organize my comics and then blew me. This is the one.
she said she likes her vagina punished
being with you and your tiny dick is punishment enough
It took my four years to get this degree, and 4 hours to lose it, My parents are not impressed.
I'm still trying to decide if it's a complement when he said "I'd like to subscribe to your daddy issues".
He's having sex with his gf again. Every thump of his bed against the wall is insulting to our one night stand.
that bitch in the red sedan is still teasing me with the ice cream cone. i'm going to show her my dick
Is this the girl that wrote "Poon Slayer" across my chest?!
One day her vagina is just going to shrivel up and seal itself with it's self preservation mechanism
It's definitively the wine. Every time I can drink and work I feel like I win at the game of life.
am i new drunk or am i still drunk
You ninja crawled over five sleeping guys to get in my room at 6 in the morning to wake me up for sex
...and I think that may just be my favorite moment in our fuckbuddyship
My girl came home. i was jacking off on the couch and she just starts telling me about her day, as if im not half naked with my hand on my cock.
Randomize