eye of the tiger was playing while i pooped... it totally helped.
Dude, you face planted, there was no "bar fight".
sleazy september. first one with mono loses.
The trainer from the tech college told me that I would pass the first aid course so long as I turned up sober. Challenge accepted
Reading an example in the GRE study book referencing Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles while wearing TMNT pajamas. *airfist*
omg please tell me you're eating pizza right now too.
I thought this guy walking back to the dorms with his black laundry bag was walking a black flamingo I'm not even kidding I had to take a break on a bench after that.
You're my favorite person
Stalker pic that shit
He left, I think he got uncomfortable when I started singing 'oompah oompah doodley do, I have a special riddle for you'
He just made my one night stand pancakes for breakfast. And I thought living with my ex was going to be weird.
I just went through the Wendy's drive thru only wearing a towel. My life has hit an all time low
....she made me stop for like 3 minutes so she could talk to her cat....
After my lunch today, I've got $10 till Sunday night. I am losing at life.
his first fb message to me in 3 years was "is your cock open for business?" im blocking him
I think I almost ran over some kid I went to high school with. Guilt factor: moderate to low.
Just ate Panda Express. Fortune cookie had no fortune in it. I actually prefer this. Less broken dream potential.
I brought coffee but not enough for the naked guy on your porch
Randomize
