i hate this light. i wouldnt even hook up with me in this light
I cant believe that bitch gave me herpes. she said those bumps were just a part of the natural landscape
wait, did she really refer to her vagina as a landscape?
why are you more concerned about her word choice than the fact that I HAVE FUCKING HERPES
He's been dead since March and more people write on his wall than mine.
Some chick in the back of my Psychologhy of Addictions class just did a line off her hand. She tried to make it look subtle.
you just stood there spinning and got mad if anyone tried to stop you
Petty good. I just stapled a 5 dollar bill onto the chest of a sword swallower.
Apparently being drunk on a southwest flight and yelling "TURNUP" during take off is looked down upon in this state.
he fucked me with his goalie mask on. it was like sleeping with Darth Vader
So lets not base feelings on vagina tingles
HOW THE FUCK CAN YOU NOT REMEMBER WHIPPING IT OUT AND PUTTING ON THE BAR?
By the way, you're banned for life.
I'm high and having a granola buffet this has got to be the healthiest I have ever been
I think I passed out drunk at my own jewelry party
Damn Instagram explore page. I am six months in to some girl I don't even know.
Oh god theyre drunkenly throwing knifes now, definitely the best movie I've worked on
I'm stuck on a cliff. I'm not sure how I got here or how to get down. Please send help. And clothes.
Randomize