come outside for a special surprise it involves huge boobs
sent the pic of my tit to the wrong bbm chatroom
I'm like a warm blanket that has sex with you
We are gonna be 90 years old in wheelchairs at the nursing home sitting at computers poking each other and waiting for the other to die so we will have the last facebook poke.
I guess it was to be expected that I was put on somebody's list called penis socket.
The woman at the bus stop told me i smell delicious and asked if i wear cotton then proceeded to tell me about her shellfish allergy
Note to self glow in the dark nail polish can be quite the mood killer during sex especially when you notice its working for the first time and you stop everything your doing to do spirit fingers
I found ecstasy taped in my armpit... thank you drunk Marissa.
Think I pulled my pelvic muscle.
I think I pulled my ashamed of myself muscle.
I may have made out with a tranny last night, which, if I don't get fired for everything else that happened, really makes last night epic.
What kind of outfit says I totes want you to take me in the airplane bathroom?
Trying to roll joints on a seadoo in the middle of a lake on a windy night. -Juststonerthings
my vag sweat smells like doritos
so now that we're not dating you have to stop sending shit like this to me okay?
I'm hungry, horney and thirsty. Pick two you want to help out with.(please pick horney)
How did you get so drunk?
Alcohol.
Randomize
