I'm buying this stripper a house, I don't care what her name is.
I can't wait til my little brother reaches the point where puking doesn't mean we stop drinking
just snorted lines off a mancala board. I'm destined to win this game.
If I refrain from fucking my manager, I'm going to reward myself by fucking that guy from the photo department.
Archery is over so let's go back to not giving a fuck for the next 3 years and 11 months
I agreed not to hook up with any randoms while she's on vacation, if that isn't a show of good faith then I don't know what is...
The cop asked you after the breathalyzer what you think you blew and you very discreetly shouted "I'm pretty sure i blew Kyle on the way here "
Hey, I took a sweater from your house. And, um, your little brother's virginity.
Someone has big plans this weekend. Just went to throw away the trash and saw packaging for 3 different vibrators on the top of the stack
He compared my ass to "a 13 year old track star's ass." Umm WTF? Is that supposed to be a compliment? And when I questioned boy or girl he said "either."
You threw up with such class too! Tiara and all.
he was really really nice, and I did coke off of his dong that night too
I think I gotta smoke less weed, I'm getting to lazy to fuck my girlfriend
still drunk.please come get me.he kicked me out because i couldn't stop laughing about passing out in the middle of taking his virginity.
I'm hungover and in a fort. And I hate you.
So many questions
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