i just saw a foot job.
porn is incredible...
She said she couldnt do it today but shed make it up to me next week
stick it in her butt and if she asks, say that thats what you thought she meant
I walked into cold stone and the guy started preparing a supersized birthday cake remix for "Mrs. Munchies"
All I remember from my 21st is crying because the bouncer made him put his shirt back on
I have teeth marks. Like distinct upper and lower jaw.
Yeah me too. My shoulder looks rabid.
oh don't forget that when we go furniture shopping we have to find a matching bong so put more money in the furniture fund
he left his wallet here so lets treat ourselves to a lunch for the lack of penis we both had deal with
She's currently upstairs fucking her boyfriend while I am downstairs making them a sex playlist watching her boyfriend's Weiner dog and large Boxer try and mount each other. Marvin Gaye is playing. This is the ultimate third wheel fail.
I know this is really fun but I don't wanna glow anymore
Whos eating a bunch of acid and watching fireworks tomorrow? This guy. Thats who.
to improve your porn experience, just imagine a slow speaking older English man narrating it all like a Nature documentary
I peed my pants and am still dancing with guys at the club because I liked my outfit too much to change. Call the ratchet emergency
How do u even exfoliate your vagina
Just reintroduced tequila back into my life...so that's happening
YAS SHES BACK AND BETTER THAN EVER
I just met him at a place called the meat farm, Jesus be a shield.
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