its like my vagina has this homing beacon out to all the guys saying "come find me, i havent been shaved in weeks"
They should make a Rosetta Stone that allows men to understand what the fuck women are actually trying to say.
my dad just told me he wants a furry wall in the house... i'm proud and concerned
its was like we drinking an entire bottle of mystery
Just got my period. This just makes my beach escapade totally even that much more ok.
That's science, my friend. Boner science.
I'll keep you from getting pregnant and you keep my papers gramaticallly correct
Out of desperation, I used the leftover sauce from my goat masala as a mixer for vodka shots.
The token old dude at the show tried hitting on us by telling us his favorite rapper was Cayenne West.
If this first date goes well and I like him, I won't sleep with him. But if it doesn't go well, I'll sleep with him.
It will be like a scavenger hunt.. only we're looking for places to have sex.
Woke up in a bathtub with both of my legs broken. How was your night?
I figured it out! The supermoon explains how I managed to have sex with 3 dudes in 3 nights without leaving the apartment.
THAT HOSPITAL MADE ME REALIZE THAT I'M BISEXUAL
So your telling me I can lick your ass but you CAN'T spend my money
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