Getting drunk in a different country is not a good idea. Lets just say spanish women, 17 yr olds from missouri, prostitutes, and a poodle. I don´t want to leave spain.
i killed an earwig and left its corpse on the wall as a warning
Want to come to my BBQ and Blow party?
She vajazzled her vag. It was as useless as putting earrings on chewbacca
K. On the way. I need a drink.
Like a drink drink or like water?
Have we met?
Just found out they make medicinal lollipops, bought like 40 of them. Gonna go fill a pediatricians lollipop bowl.
I think I just asked the Greek gyro guy on a yoga date.
Doing tequila shots with my ex to celebrate that we broke up... not awkward at all.
Just found weed in my belly button. Happy Saturday!
She looked up at the menu and yelled this is my absolute favorite literacy
I don't have any soul left to be crushed.
Went up to some dude that hit on Laura and told him he has a voice like a grandma. Apparently didnt have muscles or kindness like grandma so can you pick me up at the ER please?
Like he was cock blocking and it usually takes ten cocks to block this cock
tonight...tonight im having sex in honor of you
I have serious attachment issues. I just realized how long its been since ive smoked out of my bong and I feel guilty for dis owning it this week
Randomize
