is it bad that listening to the rabbi's wife talk about how we should only be with one person is making me really, really horny for no string attached sex
yes, we have a friends with benefits thing. i found out he had never 69'd, done anal or had a threesome. i told him i was going to rock his world.
and what did he say?
there were no words. he looked like a kid on christmas morning.
you know something has gone wrong in your life when you've gotten a court order to stay away from ALL mc donalds.
she's my drunk super hero.
Not exactly sure why you felt the need to get the halloween decorations out. But waking up to 7 carved pumpkins really scares the shit out of you.
Don't feel bad, we're professionals and we just housed burgers in burger king singing I believe I can fly
Good news. I heard back from the doctor and I don't have a liver problem.
...yet.
If they weren't representing Obama and the White House, they definitely would've punched me in the face.
I was like a migrating bird last night. Navigating on pure instinct. Don't remember how... but I made it home.
I just pictured my inhibition personified as little pink piggies with wings flying off into the great wide nowhere hahaha
I climbed out a window to pee last night because i thought i was locked in the room... Then crawled back in and went to bed. The poor neighbors.
DO NOT SLAP ANYONE WITH ANY VEGAN MEAT PATTIES
i feel like you should know pants are always optional
I'm just going to use my debit card. I feel bad buying pizza with the money I stole from my roommate...so I'm going to put it in my piggy bank.
Well... Chad blew off half of his hand last night. We were able to find most of it.
It's a testament to the kinds of spouses/parents we will be that we get so wasted but still show up to every class on time. We honor our commitments bitches!
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