we have to go try and show our tits so we can get ID-free drinks at applebees
I need to buy a mesh tank top to fit in in Florida. Where do they even sell that shit?
I just saw the Donald Trump of homeless quys walking down the street. He had three shopping carts and a bike.
I'm not sure if what i'm hearing downstairs is sex or not, but if it is, it sounds like there's a dog involved...i'm mildly concerned.
Why was I handcuffed to the roof?
It was easier then trying to explain why you couldn't fly
My vagina senses are tingling. I know your here.
So last night ended up making out with a girl going to jail on sunday...she wrote down her address so I can make conjugal visits...
you know, this Evan Williams whiskey isn't so bad when it's watered down a bit and you're home by yourself on a Saturday listening to Snoop Dog alone in your apartment without pants or any plans for your future...
He woke me up for a 10am bootycall. he was already drunk when he got here and when we were fucking, bagpipes started playing amazing grace outside of my window!! I love Boston on st. Patties day!!
She's crying about either her ex boyfriend, her one night stand, or her own puke. None of those is worth the tears.
Why yes. I did get laid looking like that. My sheets look like there was a clown orgy
I don't remember much and some girl almost convinced me to jump off the bridge while she held my stuff...
Just remembered I said your cat looked delicious last night.
I think I was just hit on by Jesus Christ. This is not okay. Bad Touch. I NEED AN ADULT!
Calm the hell down, it's just stoner Bob.
Fuck this virus. We’re finally back on campus but the bars suck parties are banned sports are canceled we eat in our rooms and can’t fucking hangout with anyone. I’m tired of virtual classes and involuntary celibacy
OMG IKR! It’s not college unless we’re puking in a toilet wondering if we’re pregnant or just hungover!
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