there are some really hot girls on the bus. i want to lips them
Just chased the kids into the backyard with kitchen knives. Best. Babysitters. Ever.
i wish you could fill a pinata with booze
I'm gonna play a drinking game called "Sarah takes the train"
The worse part is i sent a text at like three that said i was getting head... Now i have no idea who's mouth has been on my dick
I can do anything tonight that doesnt involve an erection.
Cause i'm hanging over the toilet bowl and thinking about your ball in my mouth is not helping
you're by far the better bro. your dick is more impressively sized, anyway
I hate that you know that from experience
Too many sundays start with me waking up still drunk in my car.
Regular drunk falling on flat ground did not prepare me for drunk falling into a pile of firewood.
You were trying to swim on the floor while eating a hot-dog bun and laughing about how much you hate bread and didn't understand why you were eating it..
you cant ever make fun of my bong's stick on moustache again. its the reason the cop let me keep it and my weed.
Yes I slept with him, he was the only one not wearing a costume. Guys with costumes are just trying to impress you.
he said didn't have much sexual experience and then proceeded to tell me he is going to make me cum harder than my vibrator could
well, that escalated quicky
Operation: 12 Dick pics of Christmas was a sweeping success, thanks for asking!
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