I have a new drinking limit. I'll stop when I know I'm going to untag the picture that was just taken of me.
You watched "From Justin to Kelly" and sang along to more than half of the songs. I didn't know whether to laugh or to be insanely frightened that you knew almost all the lyrics.
entire chemistry final was about beer... i actually might miss this place
she tossed me in the back of the car and said "god gave u the gift of life and I wanna swallow it"
i remember introducing him to all my posters and making him be extra nice to frank sinatra and bob dylan before he fucked me
I feel like all of the victims from Seven. Best birthday weekend ever.
I'm like 87% sure some random guy starting biting my ear after grinding me for like 30 seconds... I feel suprisingly unconcerned
Hey dude this is some next level no homo shit but im gonna get 2 tickets to the opera and go Hail Mary on this one girl. U take the extra ticket if i fail.
I fell asleep after the worst sex of my life and now I'm snowed in with him. SEND HELP. CALL FEMA. GET ME OUT OF HERE.
He gave me a beer, petted my head, and called me kiddo.
When we were done he got down next to the bed and I thought he was Tebowing. He was hitting a bong that he had already loaded and hidden under the bed.
You walked in wearing nothing but a beekeeper mask
For reals. He's my age and he still hangs out at his frat house & gets hammered every weekend. Idk if I'm jealous of him or if I pity him
Apparently stoned me thought eating chips in the shower was a good idea.
Why is everyone giving me a hard time for drinking?!
Your in the library.
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