I literally made his dick bleed. How the fuck do you think it went?
Fat spanish girl grinding against air conditioner. ive seen everything now
i climbed out of the bath tub this morning and found him taped to the treadmill
he is allergic to cats. we can only glue dog hair on him. otherwise he might die and i dont want to be responsible for that.
ahaha ok
let's call it "werewolfing"
Also you know what's worse than drunk texting? Drunk leaving soup on your hot neighbor's porch.
The more and more I think about it, the more I realize... it's not ok to just pull over on the side of the highway to pee... I'm sorry I argued that
I can always see lesbian subplot. It's my hero ability.
I'm dressed as a caveman and drunk so that's not really an option
You ate ashes out of my bong
I NEED A MOM FRIEND. NOW.
We were in a bathroom while 4 dudes compared dick piercings.
Buffalowww
So I almost broadcasted the porn from my phone to the boardroom chrome cast
I think i just made eye contact with his roommate... while doing reverse cowgirl. Yup i have no shamee
whered you go
woke up in a ditch, shat infront of a little league game, slept in her stairway...i need to come here more often
you should come have a drink with me (non alcoholic or otherwise) im at the same bar as your sister and a few guys that would apparently "lick your butthole"-congratulations
Randomize
