The tricky part is not getting sand in any orifices. Or is the plural orifi? Orifi don't, we'll both be unhappy...
so after he got his stomach pumped, he asked for a smoking room.
I am so hungover and cant move but craving a Wendys frosty so bad. I might have to watch 2 girls 1 cup just to settle the urge
i officially have more pictures of his dick than pictures of us together
You were Q-tipping mashed potatoes out of your ear.
We attempted to microwave fifteen corndogs in the microwave and may have ruined it. Also there were fake mustaches on all of his appliances...he said he doesn't like drunk me.
Screw them and thier engaged asses. I've got liquor to drink and boys I don't know to make out with.
I'm a gymnast. they should know better than to let me get dunk near anything i can flip on
For sure shouldn't do homework after beers and joints. Just cited like 3 sentences at the end with (History, 2013)
I shouldn't be that hard, but i cant exactly put "a guy to tie me up and fuck me and then brush my hair" in my dating profile
I found you in the bathroom. You were sitting cross-legged on the floor wearing nothing but socks completely surrounded by broken crayons.
My phone autocorrects "pooping" to "popping" and I'm like DO YOU EVEN KNOW ME??!
I will not get drunk on our first date. I will not get drunk on our first date. I will not get drunk on our first date.
Please send pictures of any nice new years ladies you run across in town, as I've forgotten what women look like.
Like people might wonder why I put up with your puns. You give good head and play with my hair
Randomize
