ok so i jsut did the walk of shame with this random guy that i had sex with at the hotel party, and the lady at the front desk said "wow you're just now leavin?"
do you think my med school application would be worse off if "I like helping others and shit" slipped into an essay I emailed last night?
So, just so you know... Your vasectomy worked.
bonus
Waldo just asked us for directions. Even he doesn't know where he is.
this bucketlist has just become an excuse for me to be slutty, and i'm not even ashamed
I am like king midas for the gay community. everything I touch turns into a lesbian.
nyquil sex gave me 6 orgasms so I support that
i was able to set 4 alarms to make sure i woke up in time for class but i couldnt take the open beer out of my pocket before i did cartwheels down the hall...
i robbed the continental breakfast last night
So puking trix and chicken wings is horrible but atleast we got free drinks for taking the trash out at the bar we are really movin up in the world
Vaginas creep me out. I'm disgusted by the look of them. I wonder if this is what having an ugly baby is like: you have to take care of it and love it but it just hurts you on the inside to look at it.
Alas, very true. I'll sell some of my eggs and give you like 10%
And with my 90% I'll get a scooter with a sidecar. And a pony. Also with sidecar.
his daughter has his phone and goesss ohhh boobies and shows me a picture of my own tits...
Don't have sex in a tent there are so many opportunities for infections
Many a woman has been in tears over the passing of my penis' whorish ways.
Randomize
