If you're going to watch porn, can you atleast be considerate and watch it on my old laptop and not the new one?
Listen, Pinot Grigio got me pregnant. It can get you a boyfriend.
I'm starting to blur the boundary between reasonable senioritis and self-destruction. Somewhat-openly hittin the flask in 11am class
It was perfect I came I passed out in his comfortable bed then a glass of jack Daniels fell from the bed post and spilled all over my face
You said that "grilled cheese was much to complex" and started to throw the buttered bread at the wall while eating all the cheese.
Currently smoking a blunt with my one night stand's mom. I don't know how I should feel about this.
We all make mistakes. Just lock them up deep down inside your mind so they can surface as weird sexual fantasies it takes your therapist years to decipher when your 40
I am not saying having unprotected sex in my boss' pool was a good idea, I am just saying it wasn't my worst idea of the summer.
He got up when I started trying to balance my wine glass on his head.
Must say, as a couple, she and I are thrilled that our pretend lesbianism has paid off.
He shattered his pelvis base jumping so his dicks out of commission for 4 months. Your up, second string.
I need to be drunk within 15 minutes of getting home tonight.
This tequila is so bad I might cry. I won't Throw up but I might cry
Vibrator fell off the top of the dresser and hit me. This might be the most embarrassing black eye incident ever
Almost lost a vagina lip in the great shave of '16
Randomize
