I think youre just another guy trying to take advantage of a young naive innocent girl
you're not innocent... Once you have taken it in the turd cutter you can't label yourself innocent.
I just discovered how perfect a shot glass is for putting your chicken nugget dipping sauces into. Like I'll probably do this when I'm a mother feeding my children.
I ended up giving him head, i think it was mostly a defensive move so that he wouldn't discover i was wearing those onesy spanx
She stopped mid-blowjob to introduce herself to us
I don't know how it happened, one minute we were talking about Huck Finn, the next minute I was blowing him behind the corner of his apartment building.
I should have taken pre-gaming this lunch date more seriously.
You ordered 6 boxes of pizza and laughed in the pizza guys face when you didn't pay for any of them.
i can't believe he threw up on you. Well thats what you get for being DD. I used the sombreros as a shield!
Then you jumped in the pool because your were convinced the scratches on your neck from the cat were gills and you could breathe underwater.
Did you get an erection too during Paul Ryan's speech?
It's amazing
I want to run hundreds of miles and do a whole semesters worth of homework while flying on a unicorn and throwing endless glitter bombs
But you put your finger in my ass and the rest is history
When I go to hand him the blunt and he's eating a cookie and responds with "let me hit this cookie"
Of course his mom thinks you're nice, she doesn't know you have sex for cheeseburgers
One time!! I like sex and food....
Just deepthroated a hot dog. Thinking of you
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