Do you still have your period?
everything is bigger in texas. Including my drinking problem.
Just remembered I told my boss that matt used to make me toss his salad like every time we hooked up. Nice
in the car goin home for fam dinner and he is silent... i think he realized how big of a whore his little sister is
Santa Clause just drove by me on a fire truck. Epic night begins.
dude im at a party with a bunch of 17 year old gilrs this is awesome
no its not leave
At the bar dressed as a taco. not a typo. Come down.
She said I walked up to the McDonalds counter and ordered just a cup full of pickles then proceeded to offer some to everyone in the place.
If I could drive and get you Starbucks I would... But that's probably not a good idea. On account of the drugs.
I was thinking that, but I'm not sure the proper etiquette on asking about someone's nipple rings. Even if you did see them and compliment them once.
I walked around with red solo cups on my feet, weeds tied around my neck and a tree in my hand
Just spent 10 minutes washing away my own puke. This gas station lady loves me.
Casey, if you want the continuing love of our mother, you're gonna need to stop drunk texting her from PCB.
For a second I thought he was going to give me an intervention
You can't give interventions in a bar!
my Mom is now my Eskimo sister... she fucked my ex in my bed and took a selfie
Randomize
