I realize now. I should have just made out with everyone and anyone when I had the chance.
$1 pitcher night should be outlawed.
We fucked standing up with my right leg over his shoulder. Thank you mom and dad for having once enrolled me in gymnastics. It has finally paid off
headbutted the bartender, tried to bite the bouncer, and pissed on a cops shoes. and i still got laid. god, it's good to be home
Dude feel your hair right now it feels so weird like pasta
I miss the time when Mondays weren't the new Thursdays. I can't drink like my 17 year old self anymore.
I just had my first non-cocaine-induced nosebleed for the first time in 2 years. This calls for a celebration.
making a list of all the places we've peed. separate list of places we peed when we were stoned
Then he started caressing my eye brow. Like repetedly. For at least 15 minutes. It was strangely mesmerizing
Trying to figure out if the guy I'm with right now is the same guy I met spring break
Oh duude it is the guy from spring break! Awk.
Well the term Party is used loosely in this situation. Since it will just be mom wine drunk and us eating chips with multiple dips.
We are not having sex in the fucking kindergarten
Like I could say no to two hot people already naked and fucking. Please. I'm not made of stone.
Twice?!
I'm still amazed at how you managed to get Doritos in my damn front pocket without me noticing. I got crumbs everywhere.
yeah....try hearing them in person. it sounds like two muppets going at it
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