Done. Eyebrows are waxed, entire body shaved
At a strip club after monster truck rally. You should be here
I too understand the importance of cheesy bread
WE WERE REALLY IN A PORNO LAST NIGHT
drinking steel reserve before noon and watching the price is right... 211... bet i pass out before then.
are you drunk enough to hook up with me yet?
the point i decided it was time to leave was when i was on the floor of the bar, after taking her down with me, and a table.
The night started going downhill when I set my foot on fire.
My only regret is not throwing up on the conveyor belt in the dining hall
Getting stoned at work has never been a good idea, but im always more than willing to give it another chance
you 2 were alone in the living room and the dog walked in and you started yelling what are all these people doing in here
Whip out the absinthe and the taquitos, this motherfucker just passed the bar.
Did you leave it the depths of Magic Mike's favorite banana hammock?
Sorry, that was mean and I didn't mean it. I'm just mad at condoms
Whats spookier? Halloween or waking up to a drunk text from your ex telling you how awesome you are at 2am
Randomize
