We walk out of his house and his dad is there, so I had to meet him and shake his hand pretending that same hand hadn't been down his son's pants five minutes earlier
why is it that everytime a half black man enters something boring, it suddenly becomes sexy to people? golf? the presidency?
like if they didnt have tits and vagina, they have no idea how uninteresting to us they would be
Suck a a big bag of reindeer cock bud. Sent from church. See you in hell
i'm as serious about my hair as jesse from full house.
that is uncle jesse to you, show some respect.
I'm making a contract of things you're not allowed to put in my ass
You were pretty dunk by the time you introduced the vase as your best friend.
And by hung out you mean you were in my bed for 5 minutes while your penis was in my mouth.
Things I can say. There is a photo of me pouring whipped cream into a midgets mouth.
Just paid off my possession ticket on 4/20. Helloooo awesome.
It was the best of bangs; it was the worst of bangs.
I was loaded. my pee still has a hint of lime
You tried to get the Waffle House waitress to put a candle in your cheesy hash browns.
Remember when we made out in a Chik-Fil-A drive thru?
my near death experience doubled as my sexual awakening
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