You act like I was drinking alone...I had the entire Verizon network with me
he was shitfaced drunk and couldn't walk but could still recite the top 10 in order from the first season of american idol. impressive
i'll get you drunk even if i have to inject alcohol into your arm through an IV
you're the only one i would trust to do that
This hot topless Jamaican just ran down the st with me on his back and He was screaming "I be stealing yo white ladies."
I don't know if i should be jealous or worried... or question where you are.
My liver and I thought we knew what we signed up for. We were wrong.
You are a special snowflake. A special snowflake I wouldn't mind rough sex with
Ever since we've gotten back together, it's like the ghosts of booty call's past have been hitting me up. Lol.
I was drunk and gave him my dad's phone number instead because somehow I thought that'd be funny. Man did that fucking backfire
Burritos, beer, and hot tub sex. Merry Christmas to me.
If that orgasm indicates how the rest of the year is going to go, I need to buy rain boots.
So... How much of our rent is drug money?
My moms new boyfriend looks like Stu Pickles if he was in a biker gang. He gave me free coke though, so come party?
I feel bad for her. If you sacrifice and have a chubby husband I feel that you assume he's not going to cheat on you....
I lost all interest the day she banged that guy in the Amazon parking lot. That's a special kinda whore.
She's got a shotglass necklace, running down the street asking people to "fill her up". Get here.
Randomize
