can you sing with all the voices of the mountain? can you paint with al the colors of the windddd
wasted?
im pocohantasssss
do not give him the "i just had sex cake" i repeat DO NOT give him the cake. things didn't go well
i woke up in his neighbors pool house. Not sure how I got here but there is people swimming outside. how do I escape?
just fucking run.
I just really need a hug and a shower beer
We are both federal employees and Obama gave us a four-day weekend to lie in bed. Do you know how many orgasms that will be? I knew there was a reason I voted for this guy.
Just threw up in the MSO airport men's room. We're at that point this morning.
Can we fangirl? Can we have fangirl Tuesdays?
Sure lol what's that?
Oh, dear, sweet Laura. Please start singing A Whole New World. I have Aladdin's part, you're Jasmine.
Why?
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Great news. Our sex broke my otter box
She had a belly button piercing in the shape of a cross. Talk about mixed messages.
Would you still love me if my nipple fell off?
Good, be his mentor. Like a tiny gay Yoda.
dont know how to tell my grandparents I woke up in a frat house in the wrong town and that's why I can't see them today
Is there anything more American than getting day drunk and watching Hulk Hogan promos?
I get stoned and write a 15 page history report in two hours. She gets stoned and cries because she "doesn't know which shade of pink is the real one".
why is there a thong in the fridge-NOT MINE-and a half of a pickle on the stairs?!
I don't wear thongs. The picle was for dipping. Ill explain later. Lacy or plain thong ?
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