and those juicy C cups turned out to be oddly-shaped A's when her padded bra came off.
laying in bed listening to christian music, jealous of the hope they have for their life. also need to beat off, can i think about you?
it was like the sexual equivalent of when Wilson fell off the raft and floated away
I may also break bread with strippers. Because it is passover.
oh and if she happens to say anything about a cantalope and tissues... just go with it
Is YOLO really just a socially acceptable way to say you enjoy putting things up your nose?
Okay throwing up in my mouth a little = time to go home
We did it in the bathroom in Taco Bell. We didn't buy anything before we left, which I thought was rude.
Well I just walked into a wedding reception and im currently eating a cannoli in the men's room while pissing
Our first kiss happened while shot gunning a hit from a gravity bong. Its that type of relationship.
He had a drawn-on fu manchu and now my vagina has one too.
I just got called the stable friend. This makes me super uncomfortable
What's the polite way to say "hey I don't actually want to fuck you, I just swiped right on you because you didn't like me in high school and I needed validation"
Have you ever had a pregnancy test laugh at you?
So how do u get your coat out of the coat room when someone is fucking on it?
Randomize
