just woke up and my boobs have "fun police" written on them
I am at the point in my high where i now know/understand chinese.
she keeps a pillow, blanket, and a pack of saltines under the bathroom sink, for "rough nights".
Dear vodka that I hid in a water bottle in the backseat of Blairs car, I'm sorry that she gave you away to a man on side of the road with an over heated engine. I'm sure the car doesn't appreciate you as much as I would have.
I need to sleep with 3 more guys by midnight to meet my 2010 resolution..
You want to move to a city because of their promotional beer pricing
So?
This is why you shouldn't make decisions
I can't even remember the last time I took my own pants off
I don't remember but we shouldn't have a problem. Unless drunk you encouraged drunk me not to wear a condom.
I think we have a problem.
The yoga party turned into an underwear party because we are all incompetent when it comes to tying bed sheets.
This has been a Party Success Story
pizza hut and my weed lady just showed up at the same time. I feel 22 again.
If you had been home 20 minutes ago, you probably would've caught me masturbating, so it might be for the best.
My dog just ran downstairs with my vibrator in her mouth... during my dad's birthday dinner.
There might be a dead possum in your bed, your roomate is extremely distressed!
Last time I went to flagstaff I threw up in my beard. I would very much like to recreate that moment.
DO IT!
Basically, I am an endless fountain of unconvential sexual experiences and knowledge.
Randomize
