i was unsuccessful, further solidifying for me that girls should not masturbate.
Not too sure about the toy story pull ups. The kids point to their crotch all day and say woody.
So many tools at one table, you'd enjoy my italian family
So they discontinued the hummer... Now people will have to go door to door to let others know they're assholes
you kept saying 'its nothing a six pack wont fix' as they loaded you into the ambulance.
You came out of the bathroom, said "I'M DRUNK BUT I REMEMBERED TO WASH MY HANDS!" and then insisted that she smell them.
After four attempts, his condom would not flush. I had to remove it with salad tongs.
130 PACKAGES of glow sticks! The going rate of a rave is $38.30! GET READY FOR THE GLORGY!!!!!!!!!!!!
I'll never be able to have sex on these sheets. I'd have to cover up the eyes of every single Elmo.
And they have kittens that decided that boobs are apparently the best arena for king of the hill...
I'm gonna get drunk in the shower and yell at my parents during dinner. Have fun in Texas.
Using all my books as packing buffer for my liquor bottles. And you said being an English major was worthless.
Being engaged is strange. I looked at my cock this morning and said, "we did alright these last 32 years, right?"
How the fuck did he think me asking about the possibility of a threesome was a rhetorical question?
Once you find out someone has a small dick, you never look at them the same again.
Randomize
