they said he just opened the front of his shirt and threw up alll over himself
After New Year's Eve I will be hibernating my life away. Only wake me up for skiing, schnapps, and sex. In that order.
I know you don't remember, but the teeth marks on my face say it happened.
Second day of summer classes and i already got this girl to send me nudes during class
that is WHY your in summer classes
worth it
I'd love to sympathize with you but I'm drunk in a mansion
Never use fire and ice condoms with a dude who always claims he "didn't know it was the wrong hole"
I sincerely thought making it to McDonalds by 10:00am was a shoe-in but it appears that I need to adjust my zoom when looking at the map before walking to places.
"Wine night with the girls" turned into me having to set an alarm in the bathtub this morning...
Remember that whole "don't let me drink" thing? We should really start sticking to that.
HOLY FUCK I almost floated out of the city. Thank god my dog kept me down.
THEN YOU WILL NOT GET TO SEE MY TITS TONIGHT OR IN THE NEAR FUTURE YOU HEARTLESS BASTARD
Let's just say his oral game was lacking. Hell, lacking is too nice of a word to describe it.
whatever. i don't need to be drunk to tell you i'd suck your dick if you had one.
It was probably bad to sleep with someone just to pet his dog right?
I either have a problem or a really good solution... I just ordered my homecoming dress off of a website that sells forplay outfits.
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