Packing for the trip... do they take Visa in South Dakota?
Of course, you get to fuck all night while I'm stuck in the girls bathroom sucking a limp dick for coke
I am seriously considering thanking Macallan 18 in my thesis acknowledgments.
nah, they dropped the charges. apparently ripping his junk when he tried to hop the fence seemed like punishment enough...
I dunno. The only plans I have for sure after finals are smoking a bowl and eating a 5 pound gummy bear. btw I bought a 5 pound gummy bear
I am as serious as getting herpes in Mexico...
What do herpes have to do with anything?
The bar tenders gave me the number for a "taxi"... It's just a dude with a van. In retrospect, pretty sketchy. Robert was cool though.
I just got a get of my turf look from a hooker. Apparently, Ninja Turtles T-shirt+Jeans+Flip-Flops=Hooker Gear. Woot.
Looked like a bag of smashed assholes and smelt like a brewery - still got morning sex. Marriage rules sometimes!
Only you would have a vasectomy while you're awake and report on the soundtrack first
Because drinking and showering don't go hand in hand. There that's my PSA of the day.
I'm texting you know although you won't get this until you wake up. the only reason you are strapped to your bed is because you were trying to fly out your window.
now whenever i pass that house all i can think about is how i pooped in their yard..
sad thing: we were only a shot away from an orgy. good thing: we all got laid.
I love Texas men! TSA agent found my vibrator, nodded approvingly, and said, “You have a nice night, ma’am” with a cowboy accent. I almost made out with him on the spot
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