Smith looks like a guy that goes on a lot of first dates
What kind of poor, pathetic town do we live in where a horny teenage girl is sitting in her basement on a saturday night, unlaid?
i mean you're really good at taking the morning after pill...so you could put that on your resume..
yeah, i think fast in a bad sitatuion and am able to react with appropriate measures
I am trying to figure out how to tell this kid i have a boyfriend in a way that still allows me to smoke free weed
He came in like 30 seconds. That's how I know he hasn't been cheating on me while I've been gone
Maybe I should forgo underwear.
This is a family BBQ no?
Druken naked yoga : jus another ploy to keep your husbands eye in check
You bought champagne and told everyone it was because I'd just found out I was pregnant. How exactly is that being a good wingman?
Oh god. I just had a sex dream about the talking dog from the Bush's Baked Beans commercials.
Ps I think male models just broke down outside or maybe gay German sex travelers
Split a bottle of Johnny Walker and then decided to eat a shit ton of peanut butter. That was a rough bed to wake up in
The date went significantly better after the fifth shot of fireball.
I don'y know if I should feel accomplished or disgusted. I just ate a dozen cookies all to myself. I'm leaning more towards accomplished.
Our sex is like an episode of "The Simpsons." Picture Homer choking Bart, and that's pretty much what we're into.
Etiquette question... How do you tell your mother that her nipple is out in her fb profile picture?
Randomize