yea..i want to get out of new york for a bit too but for the love of god not to new jersey. that's like getting tired of the stripclub and getting yourself a toothless prostitute.
went to library to start paper due tomorrow & took those orange addys u gave. now realizing they were ur xanax. completely fucked and going to fail, but calmly at peace with the situation.
I was giving him a blow job in the kitchen, but it was uncomfortable. so i took the oven mitts and used them as knee pads.
Don't tell me i'm not fucking resourceful.
I'm pretty sure whiskey overrules bulimia in the eyes of Texas boys
I'm not afraid to fist fight your child if I feel he is standing in between me and some tacos.
After they flagged you, you hid in a bathroom stall and text me to bring you more shots. That kind of drunk.
This is most sickening thing I've ever seen, and I threw up my body weight in jello shots on my birthday.
I told her my hands were paint brushes and her vagina was my canvas
Adults smoke weed in footie pajamas man. You just gotta accept me for who I am.
Got dumped. Now accepting nominations for my extra Dave Mathews ticket. No xboyfriends. Must cast final votes by Monday. Good luck everyone
nothing like having plan b for breakfast in a cvs parking lot before ordering this semester's textbooks
i will not be out-irished. not this night. if i don't wake up tomorrow handcuffed to a hospital bed, i have failed my ancestors.
Why does your place smell like gin and misery?
I prefer to think of it as 'ode to single life'
Which emoticons convey sympathy for sleeping with someones bf ??
I honestly have no desire to wear clothes around you
I have that affect on people
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