like literally i think i'm sweating out semen right now
jersey shore drinking game rules must be edited. almost died. how is it possible for a person to say guido that many times
Mother fucker. I'm a 30J now. I'm fucking speechless
she just gave me a present from you... on a stripper pole. in front of the whole club. :)
WHY ISNT THIS A PICTURE MESSAGE
she just threw a smoke bomb in an elevator and ran down 9 flights of stairs to see it at the bottom.
He just gave a drunken 7 minute speech on how to make the perfect grilled cheese. he explained types of butter and cheeses....i think i love him
He keeps whispering to me that he can't wait to tie my hands up with my wig?
I had a dream last night that you and me were eating cheesecake and according to my FATHER I was moaning really loud in my sleep. I seriously have issues.
All she does is lay in bed and watch golden girls and masturbate all day...
It's inspiring.
Theres a handprint of sauce on my frig, one streaked across my face, a trail of it to my bedroom and sauce all in my bed and i have no idea what the fuck i ate.
I think being an adult is being able to say no to free shots...I need to work on that.
Omg.....I raised my camera to take a pic at this presentation, and I wanted to zoom in, so I swiped my phone to the left and up pops my dick pic from last night.
I can't bring myself to turn around to see if pple saw it.
Last time i carry you out of a forest
If I pissed all over some chicks bed I would probably apologize for getting so wasted, not putting out, and turning into a god damn R. Kelly Cinderella... Not ask for coffee and a ride home.
Never admit to being cold at those things. That is how you end up waking up the next morning naked under animal pelts... or so I have heard.
Randomize
