Just found 50 pesos and a coke spoon in my dads old shit. Gotta love the 70s
i am high, trapped with a bunch of skaters and asians watching a cat on lsd on youtube, the girl on the couch next to me is getting fingered, and there is lady gaga playing. god has forgetten about me
im sober playing flip cup. its like cheating.
Found out that no one else got Christmas bonuses...and you said nothing good could come from sleeping with my boss.
I ended up naked in a pond with you-know-who and your saying your a good babysitter? Dick.
I dont know, but the way you were flopping around and gurgling made me scared that you were actually drowning in the carpet.
I'm just going to say , cocktail races are not for a Wednesday night maybe not even a Friday type of deal
I just took a dump to end all dumps. Other dumps have already written ballads about it. It was the Armageddon dump. Bruce Willis was there, it was awful.
Highlight of the night was you walking into the men's room yelling "My husband is diabetic" and crawling under the stall to yell at me.
I climbed out of the shower to him sitting on the floor trimming his pubes with nail clippers, we both just started laughing at how drunk we were
No worries, I've prioritized my homework into "can do drunk" and "should be sober" categories. We're good.
anyways, do you want to make more embarrassing memories that im bound to remind you about later and laugh about?
Also fuck yeah conspiracy
It's an interesting experience to pee while a bird meows at you.
You need to get out of the house more
THEY WILL NOT STOP FLINGING CARDS AROUND THE ROOM! It has been four hours. HOW CAN IT STILL BE ENTERTAINING?!?! I will be under the table if you need me.
Randomize
