walk of shame with early morning football tailgaters. niice.
I've come to notice a late period isn't as exciting when you have no reason to worry
I'm a fake celebrity on twitter. I need a life.
I HAVE A PRESENT FOR YOU AND ITS NOT MY VAGINA
He did a 4 wheel burnout and yelled at the cops "Sorry! It's for a school project!". HOW does he think of this shit?
You're just horny.
Yea, and? I appreciate you as a person too if that helps.
if girls can go out in miniskirts and reveal their thongs, I should be able to wear a sheer dress with boyshorts with the word love bedazzled on my ass.
This is why you're my favorite.
Friends don't brand friends with cigars. It's not how it works.
We just won 1800 at the casino and are going to the strip club. Who gives a fuck if it's 5pm
I think I'm in the negatives for the quantity of fucks given today.
I feel sorry for the person who's phone number is 704-1776 cause from now on I'm giving that number to every guy I never wanna talk to again. Happy Independence Day
My parents are now taking hits off a joint. Thank you.
I feel a blackout coming on
Plz don't have me burst into your house saying you're late for re airport to rescue you from a fat girl again
That was 2 times
I can’t tell if I have feelings for him or if my vagina does.
Just make sure you put pants on
....then im not going
Randomize
