Flowers- 20. Dinner-50. Drinks- 25. Hotel- 150. The look on his face when I tell him I'm on my period? Priceless.
Currently listening to 'Just Put it in Your Mouth.' remember when i went through that phase?
I think its only fitting my first purchase with my student loan is a glass pipe? I think ill name it 'Subsidized'
I told him i wanted to be exclusively cheating with him
I was really sad when you left and cried. And i don't know what a face promise is, but apparently i made you make one.
she had that "i just got used" look on her face when i kicked her out at 5am
He was like Sweeney Todd... But, without the killing people part.
So... He's a barber?
No. He's got crazy hair, and a revenge fetish. But he's hot. Does that make up for it?
My condoms might be a little big for you but hey, a big sweater is better than no sweater at all when it's cold right?
He's writing a strongly worded email to Trojan right now
I TOLD YOU THE BARESKIN CONDOMS WEREN'T AS RELIABLE.
HIS BALLS ARE HEAVEN SENT FROM THE VELVET ANGLES.
The original plan involved fireworks and a lot more dildos but the new one is still okay.
I fucked him while wearing his hat. I love the navy
That's not the problem. The problem is I thought I was over him but he smells nice today.
I basically go to him for great dick and great memes.
We'll handle his penis the same way we handle day drinking; together.
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