you want to go make fun of the strippers on try out night
i got kicked out last time for laughing
dude smells like cheese burgers and loose women...... i want his life
I'm starving. my midnight snack, aka a teaspoon of cum, isn't holding me over
Got hit on at a funeral service by cougar. I think I just got Reverse Will Ferrell'd.
I almost punched the night nurse in her face. I woke up and she was standing over me.
I can't be the first person ever who had to explain why her bottle of orange juice had a picture of a screwdriver drawn on it
I would like to add..this is the first november for two years that i haven't cheated on a bf...thank you..thank you
BOOTY CALL IN EFFECT, BOOTY CALL IN PROCESS, BOOTY CALL ACCEPTED, AND BOOTY CALL INITIATES FRIDAY NIGHT.
but I truly enjoy making out with my best friend more than my boyfriend
Concept: I never actually flirt with anyone, I'm just a bitch and some people find it endearing
Did she seriously come back inside just to piss on the kitchen floor?
Did you see her happy birthday to emily on facebook? The gist of it is like: hey emily you almost died at birth im glad you didn't. love mom.
Youre saying I should leave him? Have you seen the dating pool these days? It's terrifying, and in the capital region it's straight Norman Bates
Dude, my back STILL hurts from carrying the team on BP last night.
My Hitachi broke 1 day into this stay home bullshit.
Randomize
