Is it sad i was sitting here thinkin how i would only fuck Rob Pattinson if he was glittery at said time.
No vaginas are yucky and I don't think you're old enough to handle one yet
he was CRYING into my vagina
I got offered a handle of vodka and tomato soup to bring his dog home. He knows me all too well.
Just start grabbing cocks. It can't go wrong! Just say you thought you knew him and wanted to check.
Yeah I mean its Vermont, not like id be the first guy to trade pharmaceutical services for beer
I just found out my college boyfriend's nickname is actually a Dutch word for little cucumber.....it all makes sense now.
He just remixed a spongebob song with 2 chainz..... Clearly I love him
Look on the bright side, one day you will get to tell your grandkids how grandpappy got roofied on his 21st and woke up in a for sale house missing his shoes
If his smile makes you freak out and drop things imagine what his penis could do
i almost threw up on his dick. its like icarus, flew too close to the sun. except the sun is his dick and my throat was icarus
This is the best thing we've done since that time we started a religion
Well now you know... If you can get over the awkward... The dick is 10 min away.
If I don't wake up tomorrow you inherit my paycheck and can only spend it at cinnabon
Divorce can be hard, but look on the bright side. Your soon to be ex raved about your dick and I’m great with hard things ;-)
Randomize
