shit! I think I may have lost something in your car. Look for anything that can possibly belong to me, especially look out for a pair of pink panties in a ziplock. I lost my spare and you better find it before someone else does.
I have a pretty basic diameter of my vaginal abyss. I'm sure it won't hurt.
You answered the door when the cops arrived with a beer in one hand and a pillowcase over your head yelling "GAGA, OOH LA LA!"
shes perfect for him. shes never seen a penis so she has nothing to compare his to.
He came in asked for the bathroom and came out 10 minutes later dripping wet took his redbull and left.
we decided it was best to cut you off after we caught you trying to "baptize" my cat in the jungle juice
marshmallow pipe was a success. so was melon pipe. come try it
We found you naked curled up in a ball in the closet, using a gorilla suit as a blanket
Witnessing a crazy lady on the bus screaming about how romney is one of the four horsemen of the apocalypse.
I just dumped bong water and Bacardi out of my purse into the trash can. Everything in my purse is soaked. I hate Sundays.
I haven't been hungover in so long I'm actually looking forward to it
WEED IS MY SPIRIT ANIMAL
That one probably shouldn't have been in caps
I'm so hungover that I just wrote up my will because I'm afraid I'm gonna die. I'm leaving you my bong.
Take a shit and have a hit. It's the Sunday Funday Rule.
Just masturbating and watching Sports Center...is this what it's like to be a guy?!
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