she came over and started getting naked and said its not like i came over to just hang out
youve hit the jackpot
I literally just watched a girl motorboat herself
He cut you off when you said Paula Dean was in your soul...He kicked you out when "Paula" started eating random peoples food
So then she just shoved applesauces in her pocket and started talking about she needed to find her friends.
you didn't get her number why?
we all took turns holding you up and pretending that you were simba and that we were presenting you to the jungle
I like to keep a steady black out going for the holidays. I feel it makes me less cynical
It was great. They teamed up to hit on these two frat boys all night, until the frat boys started making out with each other. The looks on their faces...
I will refer to it as the penis of glory... he fucked me for 3 and a half hours - and all he needed was a 5 minute power nap in the middle (which he took WHILE INSIDE ME). I plan on staying with him forever
Is this a drinking picnic?
Is there another kind?
Vodka and cigarettes aside, my body is a temple.
Being sober is no fun. Karaoke and not wearing pants are not socially acceptable things to do anymore and this depresses me.
I am so sorry. Not sure for what, but whatever I did last night probably merits an apology, so I'm covering my bases.
It's scary that my vibrator is a dangerous weapon. I want a new one.
I told him to not try to hang out with me ever again and now I regret it Bc im bleeding through my uterus and just want him to suck on my aching nipples
I thought he was hot. You know, in a “I’ve gone batshit insane and want blood for the blood god” sort of way.
Randomize
