i just found five singles in my underwear?! im suspicious but delighted none the less
Gave out candy dressed as a porn star...bet you can guess how the mothers kept reacting.
do you think the kids from 7th heaven are mad that dennis and sweet dee are their half-brother and sister?
he aplogized for the shitty sex and called me "ma'am" when he did it. And he wants redemption sex. Gah I love southern gentlemen.
She just rubbed her face all over pool chalk. I feel like it's time to go
we were totes just talking about. huu in the bathbub. 5 girlszzz
just remembered spooning on the cardboard and confessing to each other we had the spins.
No, you don't understand. If the words "stop," "alcohol poisoning," and "regret" aren't in the same sentence by the end of the night, I will have failed this birthday.
Hahaha wear something that says i'm here to party but wont go farther then a handjob.
Don't you judge us. Sockets make ideal bowls
I need more social interactions that don't involve sex
I think the lady at jack in the box started crying when we put in our order.
Im gonna go lick parts of my apartment. Good night and be ever vigilant, you never know when I'm coming to epoxy your hand to you nipple.
Please stop telling my mom she doesn't have nipples when she's been drinking. You know shell show you. Forcefully.
If I wanna spend the whole night tied up and getting railed I'm allowed to do so
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