why are there goldfish crackers all over my bed?
you decided you wanted to name them & keep them as pets.
It was like his mom forgot to breastfeed him and he was making up for lost time.
Is licking assholes a new fad or something?
i wonder if she gts uncomfortable walkin bu when she knows we all know what her pussy tastes like
I just saw a woman point to her daughter and scream at her husband THIS IS YOUR GENES, THIS IS YOU.
I just wasted my iTunes Gift Card on a season pass for Hannah Montana. Bad decision?
Now go wash the fat girl off your hands.
He just told me that he goes squirrel hunting. NO LONGER BANGABLE.
Tell me when you get here. I'm drinking beer in the bushes next to your house, and I put my hoodie up because I was cold. Pretty sure everyone lowkey thinks i'm homeless.
Going back to the ever classy sneak out to the fridge and swig liquor from the bottle method. That it is legal for me to drink here makes the fact that I have to do this all the more depressing.
they saw the dick pic he sent and started calling him 'subway'
I'm not finished with being a sloppy white girl alcoholic. I didn't postpone having a husband and kids for sober weekends.
The exact people you expect to find at a bar at 2pm are here. Come visit. We'd really like the company.
Part of my tooth flew in my eye when the dentist was drilling my cavity then I was sent to the ER. Fucking never going back
I look at it as community service. He was going through a rough time and I gave him an ego boost. That's how we're going to remember it. I was doing a good deed lol
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