i'm sick of taking my pants off and seeing a look of disappointment on the girls face. i want her to be frigthened
MY DAD AND I ARE ON OUR WAY OUT OF FLORENCE AND I JUST SAW A MAN AT A BUS STOP WITH A GIMP HAND SLAP HIS DAUGHTER ACROSS THE FACE WITH IT.
Just wrote a paper about alcohol abuse that sounded like my weekend...
He just washed his hands with scrubbing bubbles yelling "They work hard so I don't have to!"
ive realized i need to start an "avoid moving in with my parents after graduation" fund
I gave ten strangers a full description of his penis and its abilities. I need to stop drinking.
Its not that I'm getting free haircuts... Its just that she is paying for sex with haircuts...
We're bowling witha frozen turkey in the hallway...ur missing out
I had a dream about masturbating with toys I can't afford.
My sex life and finances are equally in shambles.
First sex of the summer I'm winning 1-0
GET HOME NOW
Oh shit
That moment when you can't decide if you should vote for the random frat guy you have head to at the beginning of the semester for business and technology senator.
You fell asleep on the toilet and he was like uh should I take her off?
This is even better than the wine from my laundry basket
He deserves someone who will touch his penis at 3 a.m.
He says the sweetest things but also that he wants to choke me when we fuck so it's kinda perfect.
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