For a day that started with shitting my pants, things turned out fairly well.
I'd rather say I'm a whore then admit it's his child. Its that bad.
so the good news is that i can't possibly burn my eyelashes off tonight at the bbq.
My roommate made me a peanut butter and sprinkles sandwich. Maybe tonight isn't that bad
How many stacks you been grindin gangsta?
omg mom no
It's so blood brotha crip what be good
She thinks I'm afraid I'm gonna get caught in one of my lies and some of the girls I'm fucking will find out about each other. But it would be a relief to offload a few from the old crop and work in a few newbies into the rotation. The organization could use some new blood.
This guy smelled his armpits before trying to approach me at the bar
wearing my old cheerleader outfit to the bar was a great way to get free drinks. i should do this more often
Haha ohman remember when I peed in your blender? Gotta love college.
YOU DID WHAT???
Didn't want to waste the cheese dust from the white cheddar popcorn, so I gave him a handjob, followed by the most delicious blowjob ever. Win-win.
I'd marry him just to keep his penis in the country
Even with help how did you paint a bullseye around your asshole?
I just talked to him. no worries he had the same fears you did this morning and smelled the dryer to make sure. you officially did not pee in there haha
YOU ARE STRONGER THAN YOUR VAGINA
My mom is coming to visit today & it's giving me anxiety. I feel like she can see through me & into the whore I've become.
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