a smallpox vaccine scar is like a lower back tattoo.
It would be worth it to see how drunk he is right now.
He cartwheeled into the side of the neighbor's garage.
Ok, i'm coming over
you made your cat watch a peta video with you, so you could show it how just how good its life is
i dodnt think we hooked up bcause he actually texted me the next day
When I see myself in tank tops and push up bras I seriously wonder why I'm not President.
I just want to like fall into a pit of hot wings beside a keg of yingling and eat my way to freedom
Well she described you as a "Sex-Viking", which seemed to be only slightly related to the red beard. So things are looking good!
Yes, yes I will fake crap in his house for you.
Its like I've been given a sexual blank check.
I work 80 hours a week to prevent myself from just laying in bed and masturbating all day. It's a hands off strategy.
I jizzed in his mayonnaise and put it back in the fridge. Shouldn't have stolen my weed.
Turns out the guy I did all that coke with the other night is a cop
We're dating now
its been well over a year and hes still saying sex with me was epic
When I came she triumphantly exclaimed, "MUAHAHA VICTORY IS MINE!"
I think my time would be better spent seducing the TA then trying to save this paper.
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