I got fucking wesley sniped last night by that power hoe. How'd it end up on your end? Did you canoodle the stripper enough for her to agree to go to formal?
i think ur clone was at the club last week. she slapped some tall girl in the face who tried to steal her spot on the podium. i dont know if ur like her, but she seemd like a ninja badass with superpowers
i wiped a booger on my final. end of semester present.
girl in the front row yawned. double jointed jaw. i know where i'll be sitting next class
this morning your mother said to me "sorry to have to meet you like this, in my sons bed" later she said "you never know whos gonna be in there. its scary sometimes"
for future reference mormans are hard to crack but they give fucking amazing hand jobs.
So much beer in the passenger seat the seatbelt light is blinking
I have acquired 14 pictures of hard dicks tonight... I was on a mission. Don't even pretend you aren't proud.
Her fortune said that she will soon be free. She's taking her bra off at the table.
When the cops pulled up I just stood flat against the fence with my hands up while yelling out,"I'm a tree!!"...
New drinking game: Drink while you Drink. I'll explain the rules when I see you, needless to say, it's not difficult. Unless you enjoy sobriety, humanity and life. Bestest.
When he couldn't get it up, he handed me a beer, put his clothes back on, and said "try again tomorrow."
Sneezing cum all over the table was not the highlight of the family reunion if that tells you anything
You know you've made it in life when the people in the next stall are cheering on your orgasm
His wife found the thong I “forgot” in his glovebox
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