That was rough. We had a 50% puke rate and 100% still drunk rate at lunch
im 80% sure the guy across from me is taking pictures of my legs
I am not speculating about which disney princesses do and do not have gag reflexes
i dont know you, but i just did a line with your business card.
i literally in my bathroom watching tv from across the hall while trying not to fall asleep with my dog keeping my feet warm. wednesday's shouldnt be like this
I took your shirt off for you after you threw up on yourself, read you the ugly duckling, and then tucked you in. you better fucking love me, jackass.
He called the drink "The Annexation of Puerto Rico". He wouldn't tell us whats in it but said that we should all fear for our lives. Let's do this.
How was your weekend?
The sex was so good. It hurts to exist.
Way to ruin everything
I am drinking jager with a cat, your argument is invalid
I woke up today in my boxers hugging a log and realized that I think I've gotten close enough to nature. I really need to stop doing shrooms with you
Fuck you know you drunk when you start signing the Masson impossjvke song to entourage yourself to pee
You handed me an unpeeled grapefruit off the frat basement floor and then took a bite out of it.
I'd climb him like a horny MILF spider monkey.
Oh yeah, you are a real peach except for shitting uncontrollably and bleeding out of your face.
I was supposed to go on a date tonight but I cancelled because I found out the Lizzie McGuire movie is on Netflix.
Randomize
