Found a phone last night. Hope "daddy" gets picture messages
I feel like I've been slapped by Gods icy cold dick of vengeance.
I think it might be brain cancer. Hangovers can't be this bad
Something strange is happening to me, I think I miss hooking up with girls sober
...But it's not like we would be the first people to pay for an abortion with student loans and cell phone rebates.
We used a lit joint as a candle for her birthday cake
I couldn't find the bathroom last night...so I wrapped myself in the curtains and stuck my butt out the window and peed from two stories up. Thank god I don't remember.
I'm hurting so bad I actially had to wait for my mini wheats to get soggy before I could eat them..
DONT YOU DARE DIE YET THERE IS SO MUCH SEX TO BE HAD
You're a waste of cheezeits
what are you going as for halloween?
drunk, naked, & emotionally unstable
I get a little bitchy. We all know that
Your friend gave me you're number. I was the guy locked behind the book shelf.
I think you have the wrong number, but I hope you escaped your library-prison?
u ever get horny for food. i ordered a bunch of crepes and its doin it 4 me
I don't mean to alarm you but are the strongest testicles in the family. I just learned I can lift 90 lb with my balls! Beat that.
Randomize
