I heard we made out
I told her I was pledging and she immediately proposed to give me head in the bathroom. i love how easy rushees are
yeah but it's new years. they should arrest people for being sober that day.
Two girls are doing the worm relatively well on the bar floor after the fact I just saw one puke in the trash
What if we had a smart house and we could just say "baked" and it would rain donuts?
Everything in my purse is 100% saturated in red wine, which made it challenging to cover up my booze breath with franzia soaked gum
Will give head in exchange for a Netflix password. Serious inquiries only please.
You're just gonna have to make the sacrifice man.
I'm trying to hide in the table.
moms trying to set me up with a 28 year old. hes graduated university like im getting high in my bed and he's an adult
So I got drunk last night and attempted to shave a landing strip on my vag. I now have a 8 lane highway on my crotch now. Just looks like a random ass square.
And for the record I didn't even have sex last night. I threw up in his toilet and slept in his bed until noon
So will your sis find it a compliment if I tell her I lost out on some awesome dick to go to her bday dinner???
I got a lap dance last night from a girl while I was wearing a Captian America onsie. My life does not suck.
I have 2 voicemails from u last night. one of them is just 5 min of u saying "doodling"...
Actually we have similar relationship styles aka no relationship... it could work
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