dude you have to find out what a girl's name is before you sleep with her. if her name is debbie she's boring, if her name is lauren she's an overrated hoebag, if her name is meagan she gived bad head.
I'm going to an arts college, I live next to the frat houses, and my room number is 420. god has plans for me and I couldn't be happier.
Just saw a commercial bout this girl that lost 54 lbs on a taco bell diet. so thats my excuse.
dude so we were eating nacho cheese popcorn and chasing it with cole slaw
by the way nacho cheese popcorn is me making popcorn and then adding milk butter and mac n cheese mix
My math professor just asked us to draw the graph of the derivative of our drunkenness from friday to sunday. Dear Jesus this looks bad.
Im pretty sure it started going awry when I asked their mom "How much would it cost me to sleep with your daughters"
TAKE ALL THE MAERHMALLOWS AND PUT THEM ALL IN THE MAGICAL NIGHTSTAND
And as cleavage season comes to a close, so blooms a new season of yoga pants. And the people rejoiced.
Btw I don't have words to express my appreciation at how many times you've had to be on a dirty bar bathroom floor for me in the past two weeks
My philosophy is thug life and that means never having to say your sorry for stealing drinks off tables
So I don't know, I'm not a doctor, but I might be juggling dates with 3 different guys...
hell no. i was not wasting my two tears of virginity on him.
is buying liquor on my lunch break too aggressive?
I did it again.
I drunk texted John McCain.
the cop asked if i was drunk and i responded with "breathalize me, cap'n". incidentally, he was a captain and i blew a .13.
Randomize
