Dude, my boy c***** and I hooked up with Asian sisters last night in the same room
Then I put on blue by Eiffel 65 and security showed up and yelled at us for being too loud. Also, they stopped fucking because no one can fuck to eiffel 65
Sometimes I think its so cool that a dick that has been inside kate moss has also been inside me. So exciting.
yea, there's something about a stripper whipping you with your own belt that makes you think
We're gonna have horrible, horrible babies.
Just once I'd like to do blow in a nice bathroom.
I'll just put on a bunch of mascara and cry right before I get there. Then everyone will recognize me.
My class coordinator for bio told us that the only thing we should do the night before an exam is to get laid. And then party down after the exam. I like him.
Dude... She just sent me a story of how she wants to fuck me on a boat and call me her captain.. Well ahoy mateys, lets set sail
I came to the party for him. I don't know where he went, but I mentioned being hungry and his housemate brought me a huge tupperware container of berry cobbler. I think I'll stay.
Take home message: SPERM IS EVIL AND SHOULD NEVER EVER EVER BE ALLOWED UP ONE'S NOSE.
Wow two curved penises in one weekend. I feel like this may be good luck. Like finding a four leaf clover
It's like those toothpaste commercials where 4 out of 5 dentists would recommend your vagina
You wanna know what I want to eat? Questionable Mexican food before I go drink. Makes for excitement. Will I puke it up or shit my pants
Well. Another one of my exes came out of the closet.
location: under the moon. please find me. need ride home.
Randomize
