She uses empty wine bottles as book ends. 2 on each side. At least 8 shelves.
I think I should become a real estate agent in th friend zone I know the place so well
Soo I have a handle of 100 proof captain, cupcakes, and nothing to get up for in the morning.. This blizzard is shaping up to be a great night.
We haven't even started dating yet but I already decided I'm going to cheat on her
WHY AREWNT YOU HERE SO MUCH FUN STUFF DO IT GET IN CAR NOW caps lock
booty call hours are between 1:30-3:00 AM thurs-sat with the exception of major drinking holidays and election days. please try again
Let's just say that watching the sunrise in a space helmet is really the only way to do it.
If you quit, you're not going to stick to our game plan of dead by 40. I will not be in the titty bar nursing home without you damning
Damnit.
sweet sixteen by hillary duff just came on and i feel like i let lizzie mcguire down for being such a stoner
idk wtf was in that bud but I was talking to my dead dog last night bro holy shit
Now: to brush my teeth, put on my grandma slippers and earplugs, masturbate to 50 Shades and then PTFO
I maxed out my credit card last night on powdered donuts and beef jerky
So help me God.... if he sends me a dick pic.... I will make it so he has to eat food through a tube in his nose and poop into a bag by his belly button
A bitchslap is in order.
Why is there a condom in my ukulele?
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