We had to be out of the dorms at 730. Meeting started at 8. I woke up at 948. Drunk and covered in glitter.
she said it was okay because they were "professional" nude pictures of her on the internet
We're too lazy to do dishes, so we're making sangria in a flower vase.
the last call horn was blaring when I tried peeling you off the bathroom floor than you uttered "Ill take the toothless one.'
my roommate made out with a guy wearing a squirrel costume, equipped with a blow up tail. time to start harvesting nuts for the winter
I've decided he is effectively a mouth, hands and cock held together by bad ideas and compliments, and I'm OK with that.
Uhh dog found a condom. FYI its on the table by couch please dispose of it. No reply Necessary
You have mono. It's like being pregnant, your are excused from normal social niceties like responding to people.
Some small part of me hopes I'm on the probationary list because of seeing the Dean at that fetish party.
How the hell could he be confused. He had a naked girl running to him. I feel like he would enjoy that.
I don't drink nearly as much when I'm coupled, and that's not a lifestyle I can commit to
I think after tonight I'm 85% lesbian
I hear my roommate snoring and I feel bad for his girlfriend but then I hear them having sex and I guess it all works out in the end.
Shelly has the weirdest luck. Dude offered her a job riding a bucking bronco and it was not porn or stripping but an actual g-d cow.
Well, not only did I find out the Top Knight has roof access, I also let a guy I just met eat me out on the roof. Seems like a lot of wins if you ask me.
Randomize
