don't you miss freshman year when you could get away with "but i've never given a bj before..."
Disgusting. If I saw her naked my dick would pack up his balls and leave.
after last night my drinking related hospital bracelet collection is up to 13
Were not alcoholics, were just impatient for fridays
He Facebook stalked his way right into my pants.
My only regret is not throwing up on the conveyor belt in the dining hall
its official: beach shits are the exact same as mountain shits
Wors thing about having a cop dad: random drug testing
So I feel like I should have had a going away party for your dick. Complete with balloons and cake. Yeahh that's right. I'm gonna miss it.
All the drunken hookups over the last year are self destructing, at least something is keeping nursing school interesting
Why was I drunk tweeting incorrect Beyonce lyrics last night?
You screamed "i promise ill stop blowing your brother" in the middle of a packed restaurant at 1pm. We should maybe rethink our relationship.
Well if I can't snuggle you, I might as well snuggle a stranger's cat.
Your boobs are like a folk legend.
I put on a face mask and masturbated for an hour... my face now has a green tint
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