Oh and then this old man who saw it happen goes "don't do that"
Hahaha what a helpful old man. Like you thought it was normal to be spilling gas everywhere.
I can't go out tonight. I feel like I'm starting to party as much as Farrah on Teen Mom.
we made malted milkshakes. malt as in malt liqour.
Ps if we're still living vicariously through each other, you had sex on a beach last night
It never fails.. every time I have a dick in my mouth he calls me.
He kept buying me shots of tequila. I decided to just save myself the half hour of toilet hugging and tell him straight up that I intended on sleeping with him. We got Tacos on the way home with all the money we saved.
I've been crying in my room listening to Billy Joel for 2 hours. Thank God Four Loko was banned.
They put me in charge of something. Why the fuck would you look at me and put me in charge of something while i'm double fisting peach mimosas at a baby shower
I don't know if it was his cologne or his Jesus hair, but he was much more fuckable than last time I saw him.
Now that I think about it, it may have been the 6 pitchers of beer.
I'm really hoping to find some quality strange ass tonight while at my court appearance.
I'm reffing a fight in Fight Club I don't even know what I'm doing
You just kept stroking his beard and thinking aloud that you wanted to rub your face all over it.
I'm pretty sure the guy who was grinding on me while I was trying to get a drink at he bar was one of my tinder matches
Wasted. And I have 5 pounds of potatoes that I'm responsible for.
So I've already made 5 bad decisions today, wyd?
Randomize