dude, you're never picky with who you hook up with, have a little dignity
nah man, chicks are like pokemon, gotta catch \'em all
Nope changed our mind. Decided your strange bacon like body odor wasn't what we want to smell tonight.
i just made my gag reflex go away.
i told her that i loved her pillow breasts and then she asked me if i wanted to motor boat them. so yea, i do need the room tonite.
She has her iPod in her ears slippers and sweats on and is walking around the house up and down the stairs getting "exercise" she just stopped for a water break
It's called penis withdraw. Or alcoholism. I get them confused these days.
I was grinding on people that were grinding. Nonconsensual.
I don't think you understand. I woke up under the car. At 3 am. In the club parking lot.
the best part was at the strip club when he said he was "here to pick up my wife. she's up on stage.....wait that's my aunt". only in Ottawa.
so "excuse the stench" wasn't the correct thing to say when your boyfriend's parents walk in on you shitting. Live and learn
Next time I try to break into the police station drunk, please stop me.
I did not know male screamers existed until now. Good for him. Good for my ego.
Your face; I've seen enough of it for today. Go away now please.
He managed to rip my nipple last night....
Nothing like an afternoon walk of shame across campus on parent's weekend. Damn.
Randomize
