using no condom is gross. my vagina has a dress code.
Dude.. I don’t care how hairy she is, you already left me at the bar, and now I have to find another fucking way home... NOW BE A MAN ABOUT IT!
oh my god its dad's weekend for the sororities i can't wait to throw up in front of all these parents
do to the flooding of the park, there will be a midnight bikini mud wrestling party behind my dorm. all are welcome.
Why do I feel like the only way for this trip to end is alcohol poisoning?
This guy just asked me to stab his arm with my keys to make sure he wasn't dying.
Russians do not operate on the same level as the rest of us. hoping I wake up tomorrow
Was it fun? The night started with home made Jager and ended in him falling out of a tree with a pocket full of house numbers...you tell me.
You fucked two dudes in the same night and still went home to your cats. How does that happen?
i was sitting in the back of a squad car completely stoned watching airplanes take off
I have bruises all over my legs. Did I hit a car with my bike last night?
I swear to God if you fuck my cousin I will fuck your dad.
And somehow i feel like your expectations will turn out to be illegal in some way.
I mean, I was going to use them for a beading project, but I guess I could take one and let you bat my dick around like a cat toy.
The best part of last night is not remembering half of it
Randomize
