I am apparently in rockville maryland. I just threw up my tater tots I had fro brunch in a safeway parking lot. Then ordered a pizza. Pepperoni and pineapple. I'm sitting in the parking lot, next to my barf, waiting for my pizza. WOOF. Someone just gave me an oxycontin tab. Can u come get me? I'm scared
You should swallow it and be like the ticking crocodile. Only you play Still of the Night.
he told me I talked like a deaf person
can a guy be partially circumsized? cause i dont exactly know what i was lookng at...
I'm partying with my neighbors right now, and by "with my neighbors" I mean they are partying in their backyard and I'm partying in mine, and by "partying" I mean I'm sitting here alone drinking tequila.
You held your own hair and threw up into a red cup...I think they were more amazed than upset.
its like accelerated beer pong for children.....we train champions young
And that's why we do second round interviews for possible roommates.
Owwwww. Yeah. I can barely move unless Im high on vicodin. We are bad at drinking/balancing. We will be the first to break hips and have to go into a home.
I was on etsy and I'm like those boobs look way too familiar
I don't WANT a sex disease! Especially one assigned to me by my supervisor..
And then before we had sex he was quoting space jam to me
Do the security cameras outside your house capture sound? If so your whole family is going to hear me describe my threesome
I told him I wanted to get on him and ride him to Montana. It didnt end like i thought it would.
I don't know what it is about this quarantine, but I have never written this much smutty fanfic in my life and I am loving it!
Randomize
