Last night at the bar my fuck buddies found out about each other.
Wtf? What happened?
Not quite sure but they rock, paper, scissored to see who was taking me home.
Houston, we have a problem
where are u?
Houston. That's the problem. I don't know how I got here.
I got an 8 ball and a free entrance pass to the strip club, if i dont get laid tonight I never will.
I can feel the alcohol in my calves
He's coming over, and I hope he doesn't get hungry. I'm sure its not proper protocol to bring one booty call to another booty call's house for the munchies.
Good idea. You gotta take care of your vagina. She takes care of you. Pay it forward.
You had a hot dog outside the bar then made me stop at McDonald's for a double quarter pounder. I'd say you've more than filled your drunken meat quota.
also, i am in no position to judge as my life choices today went along the lines of "YAY VODKA". for breakfast.
how many people can say they bit their tattoo off?
It felt like a sumo wrestler slapped me. With a wet hand. 8 times in a row.
He said he "doesnt care at all, really" if I shave my legs or not. Challenge accepted.
She wasn't one for labels or anything serious really but while she was riding me she yelled marry me. It's like she fucked her self into commitment lmao she realy is a keeper bro
There aren't enough words in the English language to fully describe how worried I am for your dick. And the rest of you, I suppose.
I don't think it counts as a booty call at 6:30 pm.
I'm on a party bus with a stripper pole with middle aged women who have all started drinking
God bless your soul.
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