When we talk. Remind me of these topics, photoshop, my bday, threesomes, and cherekee indians. I swear these are real topics...
New topics to add when we talk, sweden, boxing, and the band journey
Condoms? Check. Glitter? Check. Fuck me pumps? Double check. Dignity? No where to be found. I'm about to homewreck the shit out of that dumb bitch.
I've been meaning to talk to you about your lack of self-respect these days and the toll it's taking on your vagina.
A hard boiled egg and a shot of tequila is not brunch.
The way I see it, if i don't fail the midterm and blow off some of the projects, how else am I going to get motivated to study for the final ?
well the first picture of me in 2011 involves a viking helmet and chugging champagne. i like this year already.
I have bruises all over from falling so much last night, I even have bruises on my arms from them picking me up off the street.. Oh vodka nights.
We're bowling witha frozen turkey in the hallway...ur missing out
You slammed your face into the toilet and declared you were moving your bed into the bathroom in the morning. Also, you insisted on crawling everywhere because feet are "overrated."
He was just lying on my lap in the backseat screaming how if the cops came he was a blanket.
WHAT HAS MY LIFE COME TO I'M MAKING A SCARF FOR A PENIS
Yeah. I found my shirt from last night while walking back to the bar to get my purse/phone this morning. I'm never going to even ask what actually happened. Be glad you moved 7 states away.
Thank you for listening to my rant about tacos.
All I need is $1,500, a beach ready body, a bigger dick & this will be the best spring break ever.
Be happy for me... Or horny... Or be a really good friend and feel what I want you to feel. Jealousy
FML I accidentally sent the text about his bruised balls as a group text that included his brother and my boss.
Randomize
