quit re-tweeting John McCain's tweets
whatever sunny in Philadelphia does on Thursday nights, I'm doing all weekend.
I just spent an unhealthy amount of money overnighting a full adult sized Trix Rabbit Halloween costume
I walked downstairs and there were 50 sorority girls. I wasn't expecting an audience during my walk of shame.
He literally didn't stop until I lost count of how many times he made me orgasm. It took three hours.
I tried carrying you from the bathroom to your bed and you begged me to bring the toilet too
I got to find out the airplane alcohol limit, and somehow I made it through the flight.
someone to text and fuck? since when does that constitute a relationship?
since 2006
Also he wants to know a casual, consise way to ask a girl in a bar if he could eat her out. Think on that.
i've been hiding in the laundry chute for like thirty minutes from her. not my manliest moment. but dude this is awesome
Alright whatever you say... But in the future when you really wish you had a dildo don't come crying to me about it.
She shoved a hot dog in my pocket and started grinding on it.
It was a good dick. I give credit where credit is due. A good dick deserves praise.
I think there is cocaine on my toothbrush.
We smell like vodka and hangover
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