i was rollin on her like bob the builder
Sorry i'm not sorry i made out with your dad. It was father's day weekend, get a grip
she just took adderol and chased it w dog water
There are regrets in my world today- mostly jager at that fucking altitude
I had to find out that I peed in the box of baby clothes from my mom, who found out from my grandma. New low.
At some point you realize they're vacuuming and you still have to sober up. Please find me a boyfriend thanks .
These are all good points. But, I think your under estimating what it's like to be held upside down for a standing 69
I was so stoned last night I got into an argument with your voicemail message.
I SHOULD NOT BE HAVING AN EXISTENTIAL CRISIS OVER PIZZA
So I'm just casually at the grocery store when I remember that there's still a clove of garlic in my vagina
I've just had my first cup of coffee in a month and I moaned at the first drink and honestly I think this is the most sexual expreiance in 6 months
i feel like ive seen the light, but not in the nasty christian way. thats gross. say no to jesus, kids
He wore pink swim trunks on our date and repeatedly insulted my profession, but his cat kept standing up like a person to nuzzle my face and I felt like a Disney Princess. I hate this dude, but the cat is too amazing for me to not fake interest for.
Where are you guys?
Drunk
My roommate made maccoroni last nigh dropped the bowl off the counter knocking it into the dog bowl he picked up the dog bowl and started eating it claiming it was te worst Mac and cheese ever and if he wasnt so high he would stop eating it hahahaha
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